OPERATION


As you recover in your bed, I want you to know that I am with you, that you are more beautiful than ever, that soon everything will be wonderful…


When I was
On the operating table
I was told by one of the attendants:

“You are going to get very cold”

This operation was different from the rest
Never did I feel more alone

At first
As I entered the O.R.
I was afraid of the surgeon
I study his eyes
And he also
Looked afraid

And I felt a cruel coldness possessing my body
And I thought to myself:

This is it man
You are not going to make it this time
You are not coming out alive

And I clenched my teeth and my jaws
To enter the other side
To prepare for a possible
Encounter with God
Or the devil

And I felt a warm touch
On my right hand
And I looked to see
Who was touching me
And I could only see her eyes
She had the most beautiful eyes

The eyes of a Byzantine nun
The eyes of pious Muslim woman
The eyes of companionship
The eyes sympathy
The eyes of hope
The eyes of arson
The eyes of life
The eyes of true love

And I fell in to a comfortable sleep
With her touch

I thought of my first girlfriend
I thought of my first wife
I though of wine and
I thought of the Eucharist

And I reckoned all the other times
When I was in dire straits
There was always someone there

With me
For me

Like the time an American was in the hospital
In my room
Next to my bed
I did not understand
The English language back then
But she was trying to speak to me
To comfort me
To lift my spirits up
God only knows why she was altering her face
Perhaps she was tired and she was on her way out
And I was young and was on my way in
And my nurse
My beautiful nurse
Another one of those that emanates warmth
Oh how I loved her!
She told me my roommate’s codename was
La Belleza

I was 8 years old
But I felt like 18

In spite of feeling alone
You are never alone
There’s always someone
There’s always something
Near enough or from afar
Willing & able to touch
With you
For you