“The Nativity is one of the most important aspects of human history –he said as he played with his white beard- in order to understand the Nativity you need to understand love. Do you understand what I am saying or do you want me to try my Spanish?”

“It’s okay, I understand”

“Why do you keep telling us all these stories about Christmas? What we really want to know are you political ideas. I’ll tell you what, tell us who you know and we will let you go”

“There are people out there, confused with stolen ideas from books, bad taste in their mouths. You know the types; they’re the ones who are so bent with God that proclaim themselves atheists. It is not that they don’t believe. They believe a lot, insomuch that they hate God. The poor fellows, I feel for them. I think of them dearly this Christmas”

“Okay boys, who is Santa?
“A coca cola product”
“Who is the real guy?”
“Saint Nicholas”
“Very good, you all will get lots of gifts this Christmas”

I hate Christmas
He said
Then he snorted
Some cheap blow

MARRY CHRISTMAS & DO NOT DISTURB

Christmas is best
With good liquor
Your wife in your bed
The children playing with their toys
In their room upstairs.

“Marry Christmas bro; I am glad to see you again”
“Thanks Al, I’m also glad to see you”
“Did you have a good year?”
“It was a tough one”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah man”
“Hopefully next one will be better”:
“I am afraid things are not going to get better, do you dig what I am saying?”
“Yeah” The sound of his voice was wet with sadness.
“The most important thing is to be right inside –I said as I put my right hand on my chest- if we can do this, we’ll make it”

“What’s this shit I heard about the blog overthrowing the book?”
“That’s the talk in cyberspace man”
“Okay, I will burn my books”

-¿Tienes conocimientos de información clasificada?

-Bueno, lo que sé es lo siguiente: Tu primer idioma es el inglés y tu segundo español. Tus padres son mexicanos pero tú eres nacido en el este de Los Ángeles. Tú eres el único del barrio que tiene una educación universitaria, gracias al patrocinio del gobierno por haber participado en la primera guerra del golfo. Tus padres están muy orgullosos de ti aunque no lo aparenten. Cuando escuchan a los Tigres del Norte cantar “mi soldado” los dos se ponen a llorar. Tus papás te quieren mucho. También sé que te sientes nervioso por lo que te estoy diciendo. No te preocupes, soy tu amigo, sólo deseo tu bienestar. En este momento tu mente se está bloqueando y estás olvidando el español. Hablaré en inglés:

“I am your brother and I love you. Everything will be fine. I will not tell you superiors about your breakdown. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. Don’t worry about your wife, the cancer she has in her womb will be gone when you get home. She will not die. She will survive”

I could see tears in his eyes. He was touched. In my heart I wished for the best for this guy. He was more good than bad.

“Here, take my gun –he pulled a glock 9 millimeter from his shoulder holster and handed to me- I will show you a way out of this place”

“I don’t walk with the gun anymore. Now my confidence is in the Most High. Put that pistol back in its place”

“Okay, we are going to ask you more questions, we sent you someone who speaks your language and he said you were mocking him. This is not a game; you better get serious with us, because you can pay dearly for your attitude”

“I am serious person”

“Okay, we will begin”

“Wait, bring the guy who speaks Spanish, I want to clear up any misunderstanding with him. He was a good sport” I said.

“I will give you one last chance, if it doesn’t work, you will deal directly with me, and I will not be nice”

“I understand”

The lonely man walked out of my room talking his loneliness with him. The Spanish speaking guy came in.

-Quiero disculparme por cualquier mal entendido –exclamé.

-Aceptaré tu disculpa si respondes mis preguntas honestamente.

-De acuerdo. La razón por la cual dije que soy la voz que clama en el desierto es porque San Juan es uno de mis Santos.

-¿Has estado en el servicio militar? –me preguntó.

-No.

-¿Eres religioso?

-Sólo en el buen sentido de la palabra.

-¿A qué iglesia perteneces?

-A la verdadera iglesia.

-¿Cuál es la verdadera iglesia?

Mi primer pensamiento fue para los pobres, esa mayoría que vive en la miseria, pero que algunos dicen son los más felices. También pensé en los minusvalidos y los parias de todas las sociedades: las prostitutas, los drogadictos, los soldados y todos aquellos que son vistos con sospechas por diferentes razones. Aquellos quién el Héroe Cósmico, el mero Jesucristo, frecuentó, sanó y defendió.

-Pienso que la verdadera iglesia –dije al inhalar profundamente- son aquellos que todo lo soportan, que a todos aman, los que conocen las heridas universales de las pasiones y hacen todo lo posible por sanarlas. Pasiones como el orgullo, avaricia, codicia y muchas otras que son el combustible de las tragedias que aterrizan sobre los seres humanos. Esta iglesia tiene la medicina para curar a sus hijos e hijas de la enajenación del mundo. Medicinas como el silencio y la contemplación. La verdadera iglesia es aquella que se encarga de los suyos, como la hacen las madres, y al mismo tiempo tiene suficiente amor para aquellos que no son sus hijos. Ella intercede por todas las almas del mundo. Principalmente por las de sus enemigos.

Lo más atroz es el olvido.

I REMEMBER BETTER TIMES

“Hey Juan, what’s up my man?”

He asked as I watched the traffic jam; all those cars going nowhere. We were sitting under the tree.

“Not much bro, how are you?” I answered. It is always good to talk to my African big brother.

“I am doing fine little brother; I am looking for a new language, one that can be understood by everybody in the world. Do you dig what I am talking about?”

“I do man, you’re talking about the language of grace, you know, the language that has a lot of feeling”

“You the man!”

-Mis compañeros, las personas que te estaban haciendo las preguntas, me dijeron que tu primer idioma es español. Quizás si te hacemos las preguntas en tu idioma puedas contestar con más facilidad.

No dije nada. Sólo sonreí.

-Está bien. Empecemos. ¿Quién eres? –preguntó entusiástico.

-Soy la voz que clama en el desierto.

-¿Juan?

-Ése mero.

EL PLANETA SALE A DAR LA VUELTA

No permitas
Que tu afán
Por la subsistencia
De las cosas
Oxide de tu sangre.

“You are such a fool, you left the comforts of America for the uncertainty of the third world. How irresponsible can you be?”

“Comfort is decay and America is everywhere. The third world is the third world. Sometimes foolishness can save you”

“You’re crazy”

“Perhaps I am”

“Do you hate Americans?”

“No, I love them”

“Very well then, this interrogation is over”

I kept silence.

DESCANSO

Después de la tormenta
Mi hijo y yo
Nos quedamos dormidos
Aun lado del volante.

-Escúchame bien Juan –hizo una pausa para beber su cerveza con frenesí- Marx la cagó cuando dijo que la religión es el opio de los pueblos. Quiso decir “medicina” y no opio.

“Tell me more about your experience, how was it for you”

“It was like war. It was hell”


THE BATTLE FIELD

It is late
And I miss my wife
My children

And the war goes on
The words explode
Like cluster bombs

My isolation
Is necessary
Like water
For an arid awakening

The letters
Sing together
Like a Mormon choir
Lyrical fragmentation
I want to turn it off.

THEN I STUMBLED INTO THE AMERICAN DREAM AND I COULD NOT GET OUT.

“I am very disappointed in you”

“Why you say that?” I asked

“Because you have squandered all the opportunities you had, and you had many. A lot of people can only dream for all the chances you had, all those jobs, all the money you were making, many people desperately need that money. How can you do this to your self, to your wife, to your kids? How can you do this to me?

“It was not easy. It was like drinking a bitter medicine that will save your life, at first it is difficult, but later you get used to it and get a taste for it. When I left the matrix I felt like a human being once again, I could feel, I could love, and I could rest. All those things were taken from me. When I joined the dogmas of the corporations I became a slave to greed, I also worked to fulfill the greed of others. It was horrible. When I quit that addiction, I was able to breathe again. I stopped choking, I stopped dying. It took off the weight of my folly. Then I saw my wife and my children like the real treasure they are. I was blind and now I see. This is the most important decision I have made as a family man. This is why I did it”

Mexico was America and America was Mexico, that was how I understood things, but in the “other side” streets were bigger and cars were newer. I saw a lot of girls that look like Charley’s Angels when we would go to strip malls. There were a lot of toys that I could not have. This has been the case until recently.

MY AMERICAN BIOGRAPHY IS SOMETHING LIKE THIS


I was conceived when an American spaceship landed on the moon. I grew up with Ronald McDonald as my hero, I remember when my mother would make me kiss his statue and take pictures of my brother and me. We had to cross the border into California in order to eat in the chapel of the clown.